I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
