Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She announced her abortion via fbk
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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