it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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