My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
the liver wants what the liver wants
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
