Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize