i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He kissed a someone with a penis
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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