You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
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At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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