Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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