she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
