And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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