whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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