I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
