ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
