Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
