I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
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The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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