my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
