I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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