He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Couch. On fire.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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