I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize