fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
