Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
do herpes really smell.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
