no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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