Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I did not marry a roomba.
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