Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
