If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
