Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize