There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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