Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
