last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
