Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
