Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
