dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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