All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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