It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
