i think my tv is drunk
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Randomize
