wake up i wanna do it froggy style
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
