i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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