she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
