Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize