lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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