it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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