I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You dont lie about slip and slides
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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