I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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