escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
