There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
