dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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