I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She bit a glass in half.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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