I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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