And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
