it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
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she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
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I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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