there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
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Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
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Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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