I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
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I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
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My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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