when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
