I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
