nut hugger
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
