Me. At least after what I've been through.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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